Certo, potrei parlare di
filmetti come
The Wrestler o
Gran Torino (straconsigliati a chiunque, per inciso), ma di fronte a
Babylon A.D. scompaiono dalla mente! In senso letterale, visto che la visione è paragonabile solo ad una lobotomia effettuta da un bonobo spastico usando un attizzatoio arroventato...
Scopro solo ora che lo
pseudo-regista è francese (che poi non si dica che parto prevenuto), mentre ero memore del fatto che avesse fatto pubblica abiura di tale gioiello del cinema.
Diamine, quando il regista
si scusa per ciò che ha fatto, ti senti proprio in dovere di vederlo. Poi lui sostenne che la versione estesa era un capolavoro, mentre ho il tragico sospetto sarebbe stata solo una morte più lenta e straziante, ma ok...
Futuro prossimo, la Russia è allo sfascio e nel mondo sta prendendo piede una potentissima setta guidata da
Charlotte Rampling. Per eccellenti motivi
Vin Diesel - che di mestiere fa il mercenario sgodibile - viene incaricato dal
Gérard Depardieu più bolso e devastato di ogni epoca di scortare la
signora Todt e le labbrone di
Mélanie Thierry in America.
Il viaggio è una brutale accozzaglia di sfide alla
giochi senza frontiere, con Diesel e la Yeoh che sferrano sganassoni in giro, mentre tutto intorno la gente salta (vera cifra stilistica del film: c'è
costantemente qualcuno che zompa, saltella o si molleggia) e le cose esplodono.
Andrà meglio - si fa per dire - in americalandia: in Alaska verranno inseguiti da droni da combattimento programmati dalla Microsoft, che non beccano il bersaglio neanche se sta fermo. Il nostro eroe potrà quindi fare dei bei numeri con la motoslitta, con tanto di salto mortale rovesciato, durante il quale spara con una 9mm ed annienta il drone supersonico high-tech. Signori...
Arrivati a New York, un sacco di gente inizierà a spararsi addosso per un qualche motivo, lasciando lo spettatore a dir poco perplesso.
Fatto ciò, giungiamo faticosamente al climax più sconclusionato della storia del cinema, con immacolate concezioni (giuro), clonazioni ed innesti di intelligenze artificiali su feti (ri-giuro!). Uno dei peggiori jibba-jabba high-tech a cui mi sia mai capitato di assistere.
Shockato da tante e tali rivelazioni, i ricordi si fanno confusi, ma di sicuro c'è un altro inseguimento ed un po' di boiate assortite, prima che tutto finisca per il meglio o per il meno peggio.
Privo di logica a livelli patologici, il film ha nei sui 86 minuti il vero punto di forza: è talmente breve e pieno di insensata azione che mantiene alta l'attenzione, aiutato anche dal costante
overacting di tutti.
Insomma, non certo un trash che entrerà nella storia, ma di sicuro un ottimo prodotto per farsi due risate stile xXx-nel-futuro.
Voto: 3.
Trashometro
® 8/10:
Tags: fantascienza, azione, avventura, futuro, religione, setta, monastero, bomba atomica, nanotecnologia, virus, arma, carro armato, scienziato, morte, Vin Diesel, motoslitta, drone, inseguimento, sottomarino, gemelli, massacro, intelligenza artificiale, combattimento, arti marziali, New York, Alaska, Russia, Mongolia, sparatoria, treno, tigre, clone, jibba-jabba high-tech, cagata pazzesca.
Diesel, Vin
Nome di battesimo: Vincent, Mark Sinclair
Data di nascita: 18 July 1967
Altezza: 6' (1.83 m)
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Vin's father taught theatre. His mother was a psychologist and astrologist. Other than revealing that Vincent is his real last name, he won't talk about much of the rest of his early life. Vin dropped out of college to make _Multi-Facial (1994)_, a short about a struggling actor that played in Cannes in 1995, which eventually got Steven Spielberg's attention. Spielberg then cast him in Saving Private Ryan (1998) and Vin's career was launched.
Trivia random: Producing partner with George Zakk. Their company is called One Race Productions.
Citazione random: [why he didn't do the "Fast and the Furious" sequel] I was being offered three franchises at the same time - Pitch Black (2000), xXx (2002) and The Fast and the Furious (2001)--and I had to choose. I couldn't do all three.
Salario massimo: $11,500,000, per The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Kassovitz, Mathieu
Data di nascita: 3 August 1967
Altezza: 5' 9½" (1.77 m)
Coniuge: Julie Mauduech::(? - present) (separated) 1 child
Ultimi lavori: Trivia random: Girlfriend is Aurore Lagache.
Citazione random: [On the situation in the Banlieues of France] It's a vicious circle. Cops hate kids because kids hate cops and so on, and it will never end.
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Rampling, Charlotte
Data di nascita: 5 February 1946
Altezza: 5' 7" (1.70 m)
Coniuge: Jean-Michel Jarre::(8 October 1976 - 1996) (divorced) 1 child, Bryan Southcombe::(1972 - 1976) (divorced) 1 child
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Charlotte Rampling was born in Sturmer, England in 1946. The daughter of a British Colonel who became a NATO commander and a painter, she was educated at Jeanne d'Arc Académie pour Jeunes Filles in Versailles, France and at the exclusive St. Hilda's school in Bushley, England. She was a model before entering films in Richard Lester's The Knack ...and How to Get It (1965), followed by roles in Georgy Girl (1966) and Luchino Visconti's Caduta degli dei, La (1969). Rampling is best known for her role in Liliana Cavani's Portiere di notte, Il (1974), where she played a concentration camp survivor who is reunited with the Nazi guard (Dirk Bogarde) who tortured her throughout her captivity. In 1974, she co-starred with Sean Connery in John Boorman's science fiction adventure Zardoz (1974), with Robert Mitchum in Farewell, My Lovely (1975), with Woody Allen in his Stardust Memories (1980), and with Paul Newman in Sidney Lumet's The Verdict (1982). An actress always willing to take on bold and meaningful roles, Rampling had perhaps the most off-beat one in Nagisa Oshima's 1986 comedy Max mon amour (1986) as Margaret, a woman in love with a chimpanzee. She also voices video games, such as The Ring.
Trivia random: The character she played in François Ozon's Swimming Pool (2003), "Sarah Morton", was named after her elder sister, Sarah, who committed suicide at age 23. She told The Guardian, "I thought that after such a very long time of not letting her be with me that I would like to bring her back into my life".
Citazione random: "I'd rather be thought of like that than to play Mary Poppins." -- Charlotte Rampling, in response to her tendency toward playing villainess roles
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Thierry, Mélanie
Data di nascita: 17 July 1981
Altezza: 5' 3" (1.60 m)
Ultimi lavori: Trivia random: Has been with French singer Raphaël Haroche since 2002. They have a son, Roman, born May 24, 2008.
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Babylon A.D. (2008)
Regista: Mathieu Kassovitz Scrittore: Eric Besnard,
Maurice G. Dantec Genere: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller, Action
Valutazione: 5.3/10 (17399 voti)
Durata: USA:90 min
Paese: USA, France, UK
Lingua: English
Cast:Trama:Veteran-turned-mercenary Toorop takes the high-risk job of escorting a woman from Russia to America. Little does he know that she is host to an organism that a cult wants to harvest in order to produce a genetically modified Messiah.
Trivia random: The studio apparently cut 70 minutes of Mathieu Kassovitz's original version, against his wishes, to get to a running time of 93 minutes.
Citazione random: [first lines]::Toorop: Save the Planet.
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Yeoh, Michelle
Nome di battesimo: Chu-Kheng, Yeoh
Data di nascita: 6 August 1962
Altezza: 5' 4" (1.63 m)
Coniuge: Dickson Poon::(February 1988 - 1992) (divorced)
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Born as Yang Zi Chong in the mining town of Ipoh in West Malaysia in the lunar year of the Tiger, she spoke English and Malay before Chinese. A ballet dancer since age 4, she moved to London, England to study at the Royal Academy as a teenager. After a brief dance career, she won the Miss Malaysia beauty pageant title in her native country and the Miss Moomba beauty pageant title in Melbourne, Australia in the early 1980s. Her first on camera work was a 1984 commercial with martial arts star Jackie Chan. In 1985, she began making action movies with D Films of Hong Kong. She was first billed as Michelle Khan, then later, Michelle Yeoh. Never a trained martial artist, she relied on her dance discipline and her on-set trainers to prepare for her martial arts action scenes. She uses many dance moves in her films. She still does most of her own stunts and has been injured many times. Ironically, she still cannot read Chinese and she has to have Chinese script read to her. In 1988, she married wealthy D Films executive Dickson Poon and retired from acting. Even though they divorced in 1992, she is close to Poon's second wife and a godmother to Poon's daughter. When she returned to acting, she became very popular to Chinese audiences and she became known to western audiences through her co-starring roles in the James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) and in the phenomenally successful Wo hu cang long (2000) aka Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' directed by Ang Lee. She turned down a role in a sequel to The Matrix (1999). She has her own production company, Mythical Films and has trained with the Shen Yang Acrobatic team for her role in The Touch (2002), an English language film she is both starring in and producing. She hopes to use her company to discover and nurture new filmmaking talent. She also wants to act in roles that combine both action and deeper spiritual themes.
Trivia random: Miss Malaysia [1983]
Citazione random: "The reason why I decided to wait two years after the Bond movie, and to work with Ang Lee in a martial arts movie, is because I really believe that this genre deserves more respect and dignity than it's ever been given. Before, people saw it as a fairy tale; they felt they could take it easy. But it shouldn't be about that. It's so steeped in our culture, it should have more depth to it. It's never easy to find that balance, when it's such a magical type of film, to make you accept our soaring to the skies... it was a risk, but when we did this movie, it was for a Western audience."
Salario massimo: $2,500,000, per Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Depardieu, Gérard
Nome di battesimo: Depardieu, Gérard Xavier Marcel
Data di nascita: 27 December 1948
Altezza: 5' 10¾" (1.80 m)
Coniuge: Elisabeth Depardieu::(19 February 1971 - 1996) (divorced) 2 children
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Young delinquent and wanderer in the past, Gérard Depardieu started his acting career at the small traveling theatre "Cafe de la Gare", along with Patrick Dewaere and Miou-Miou. After minor roles in cinema, at last, he got his chance in Bertrand Blier's Valseuses, Les (1974). That film established a new type of hero in the French cinema and the actor's popularity grew enormously. Later, he diversified his screen image and became the leading French actor of the 80s and 90s. He was twice awarded a César as Best Actor for Dernier métro, Le (1980) and Cyrano de Bergerac (1990), also received an Oscar nomination for "Cyrano" and a number of awards at international film festivals. In 1996, he was distinguished by the highest French title of "Chevalier du Légion d'Honneur". He married Elisabeth Depardieu in 1971, and they divorced in 1996; she appeared with him in Jean de Florette (1986) and Manon des sources (1986); their children Guillaume Depardieu and Julie Depardieu are both actors.
Trivia random: He appeared with his wife Elisabeth in Le Tartuffe (1984).
Citazione random: I'm about to stop filming! I'm a guy that is leaving. And for once, I'm not drunk! I've got nothing to lose. I did 170 films, and I've got nothing else to prove. I'm not going to keep up like this for ever. I finish in style with film director Thomas Gilou, who has made lots of successes, and has made a really good film with this Michou d'Auber (2007). I retire in style with this film. It's wonderful.
Salario massimo: $2,430,000, per Bogus (1996)
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb. 
3 commenti:
Eppure ho ancora voglia di vederlo, eh si che ne ho lette di recensioni negative. Non sapevo delle scuse del regista...
OT: Il link al questionario più recente del Torneo dei film:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?hl=it&formkey=cDhtazMwUm1KaUEwZ0RDXzR2REhMV2c6MA..
@gegio: a me il fatto che si sia scusato attirava ancor di più. :-)
Ad onor del vero (pur continuando a pensare che sarebbe solo venuta una porcata più lunga) va detto che effettivamente in più punti si ha la sensazione che siano state amputate malamente delle parti.
Grazie per il link!
purtroppo se ci son dei milioni dietro io sti film non li riesco ad apprezzare nemmeno come trashate... se fossero a basso costo penso che non me ne perderei uno
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