Albert, già Eagle in un altro film, è abbonato al ruolo del laido cattivo. | 
Gordon concentra la sua aura ninja; la fattanza è puramente cosmetica. | 
Dovendo recarsi sul luogo dello scontro finale, David Bowles evita le limitazioni del traffico con la sua fida yamaha. |
Lo so che lo dico tutte le volte, ma stavolta è vero:
Ninja the Protector è il film di ninja più confuso che la storia ricordi.
E sì che partiva così bene, in una maniera che non può certo spaventare un habitué dei ninja movies: ci troviamo infatti nell'unica
location che sia mai stata usata come stazione della polizia/interpol/covo dei buoni, tappezzata come sempre da manifesti contro i rapimenti (ma, stranamente, non contro il brutto cinema); qui troviamo il solito
Gordon al comando di tre o quattro pirla (più altri due o tre a cui vengono passate delle foto, ma che sono nell'
altro film...), ovvero la squadra anti-crimine di
so-ben-io-dove.
Avendo evidentemente finito i criminali seri, si mettono sulle tracce di una temibile gang di ninja, in realtà dedita a loschi traffici (quali che siano, non è dato sapere); tale gang è comandata dal ninja sovrappeso
David Bowles, i cui hobbies includono l'eccedere con l'eye-liner ed il vestirsi di rosso per poi sproloquiare massime ninja ai suoi fedeli seguaci di nero vestiti, in una fumosa stanzetta.
A parte i leciti dubbi sulla loro salute mentale mi pare non ci sia nulla di illegale in questo, ma per non saper né leggere né scrivere la polizia cerca di arrestarli; ma gli
Uomini di Gordon® (in che senso?) pensano si tratti di normali criminali, e non di fessi che si fanno gli shuriken da soli: gli arresti si riveleranno difficili, e solo la misteriosa comparsa di un ninja buono (
Gordon sotto copertura anche per i suoi uomini!) risolverà le cose.
Ma sappiamo tutti che i film di ninja più li rimescoli e più puzzano: quanto descritto finora è solo la parte occidentale del tutto.
La suddetta organizzazione criminal-ninjesca ha infatti potenti ramificazioni ad hong-kong, dove il laidissimo
Albert, lo stesso
Eagle di
Ninja Il Guerriero domina incontrastato. E con
"lo stesso" non voglio dire che si tratta dello stesso attore: è proprio che stiamo parlando dello stesso film hong-kongese, mischiato a casaccio in entrambe le pellicole, tant'è che ricompare pure la vice-laida
Morna Lee (che mi venga un colpo se ho capito se stavolta è buona o cattiva
)
Ora... per motivi su cui non staremo a dissertare, i due laidoni sono impelagati nel temibile mondo dell'alta (in asia, si fa per dire...) moda; in tale ambiente dovrà infiltrarsi
Mike Tien (pure lui un gradito ritorno da
Ninja Il Guerriero) con la collaborazione di suo fratello/amico/vicino di casa, entrambi Uomini di Gordon
®.
Nel mezzo, uno stuolo di combattimenti ninja (con cerbottane, spade, bombette puzzolenti ed estintori-ninja), inseguimenti in moto (non sei buono Mike Tien! Lascia perdere, che finisci sempre col culo per terra!), stupri e coiti come se piovessero, tentati suicidi (non necessariamente tra il pubblico) ed una trama che definire
"cucita insieme con lo sputo" non rende l'idea.
Da non perdere: il maestro ninja malvagio, che pontifica man mano che i suoi allievi cadono come mosche; Gordon che sornione come non mai nega con acute battute l'esistenza dei ninja, tacendo anche ai suoi uomini; gli inseguimenti in moto più fetenti della storia; gli improbabili intrecci del girato asiatico.
A sentir
IMDb in tale crimine sarebbe implicato pure un giovanissimo
Jackie Chan; in effetti compare nel cast del girato asiatico, ma francamente in questo film non ci ho fatto caso (o se l'ho fatto, ho rimosso).
Consigliato a tutti gli amanti del genere, ma forse va bene anche per chi deve iniziare (meglio un bel trauma secco e che non se ne parli più!
)
Voto: 2 Trashometro
® 10/10:
(è un valido sostituto per la lobotomia)
Tags: ninja, azione, Godfrey Ho, Richard Harrison, motociclette, stupro, sesso, spiaggia, hong-kong, alta moda, polizia, copertura, gang, malavita, tentato suicidio, tradimento, trash.
Tien, Mike (I)
Ultimi lavori:
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Chan, Jackie (I)
Nome di battesimo: Chan, Kong-sang
Data di nascita: 7 April 1954
Altezza: 5' 8½" (1.74 m)
Coniuge: Feng-Jiao Lin::(1 December 1982 - present) 1 child
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Apprenticed to the China Drama Academy (or "opera school") by his parents at the age of 6, Jackie Chan was rigorously trained in music, dance, and traditional martial arts. A visiting filmmaker offered Chan his first (tiny) role as a stunt player. Chan took the part, and soon left the Opera to pursue the world of film. Fellow Opera students Biao Yuen and Sammo Hung Kam-Bo would also have careers in film, and the three would star in several films together in the following years. Chan's talent and enthusiasm soon saw him taking larger and more important roles, graduating first to stunt coordinator, and then to director.Following the death of martial arts legend Bruce Lee, the search was on for an actor who could inspire audiences to the same degree; every young martial artist was given a chance. Chan decided that rather than emulating Lee (and thus living forever in his shadow), he would develop his own style of filmmaking. His directorial debut Shi di chu ma (1980) was a milestone in martial arts films, being one of the first to effectively combine comedy with action. This set the tone for many of his future films, which combined slapstick humor with high-energy martial arts action. A self-confessed fan of Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd, Chan performs all his own stunts, quite often at his own peril. His later films include outtakes of his on-set injuries run under the closing credits. He is understandably number one on the insurance blacklist.
Trivia random: Has a daughter with Elaine Wu
Citazione random: "Don't try to be like Jackie. There is only one Jackie.... Study computers instead."
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Lee, Morna
Ultimi lavori:
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Bowles, David (I)
Data di nascita: 6 December 1952
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Represented both in USA (Hollywood) and UK, British & International Actor David Bowles is an established and recognizable face to the 'silver screen'. With full work visa for USA and having trained in UK and America, he moves extensively between USA and Europe and has achieved an impressive and broad portfolio of leading and principal roles to his credit to date both in UK and Internationally.Credits reflect his speciality of strong character portrayals across a range of genres from contemporary to 'period', mythical, Shakespearean and classical works and highlighted with such diversity of roles on such favorites as Robin Hood Prince of Thieves to his acclaimed performance in The Gathering (2004) and as Elron (King of Elves) in the Feature Film Trilogy 'Bored of the Rings'.The eldest son of four children he was born a Sagittarian in Bolton, England in 1952. After growing up in the UK where he first began to 'tread the boards' he now has considerable interests around the globe both as an international actor and as a writer/producer.Memberships achieved include Equity, BAFTA, and the acclaimed American Academy Players Directory represented by the American Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences (home of the 'Oscars').Having trained in early days within UK and USA with later developmental work at RADA his varied portfolio of experience and exposure to date within Film/Stage/Television and on both sides of the 'pond' include work with such 'names' as Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), Oliver Reed in Orpheus & Eurydice (2000), 'Curt Jurgens' and Maria Schell in 'Occupation' and a host of others.Later years have seen work with legendary British actors Frank Finlay and Maureen Lipman on quirky comedy feature Lighthouse Hill (2002) and in action-adventure film 'Gunner' (2002) as well as numerous TV appearances. In addition to his screen credits, his Theatre work also expanded significantly with the 1999/2000 UK tour of his auspicious principal role portrayal of Big Danny in 'The Hardman' - the hard-hitting life story of Glaswegian Gangster Jimmy Boyle, based on Boyle's own book, 'Sense Of Freedom'. Having played Alcaeus (High Priest) alongside Oliver Reed in Orpheus & Eurydice (2000), this was closely followed by Bowles in one of his much-loved classical roles as Kimon, one of the key Philosopher's opposite Roy Dotrice and Brian Blessed, in Paul Pissanos' Greek epic 'Olympiad' dramatizing the historical ancient Olympic Games. He is ever the 'Philosopher' ... his own favorite quotation being borrowed from the words of his illustrious idol 'Sir Laurence Olivier' on Actors and Acting... 'We are as immediate as the moment...'
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Ninja the Protector (1986)
Regista: Godfrey Ho Scrittore: Godfrey Ho Genere: Action
Valutazione: 3.3/10 (94 voti)
Durata: 92 min
Paese: Canada, HongKong, USA
Cast:
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Harrison, Richard (II)
Data di nascita: 26 May 1935
Coniuge: Maria Francesca Pomentale::(1978 - present) 1 child, Loretta Nicholson::(1961 - ?) (divorced) 3 children
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Musclebound actor Richard Harrison was one of a slew of handsome young American pectoral hunks of the late 50s whose career in Hollywood amounted to little more than brawny bits until being lured to Italy and churning out the sword-and-sandal pictures that became an early 60s craze. Harrison would end up making over 100 films due to this lucky trek abroad.Born on May 26, 1936 in Salt Lake City, he relocated to sunny Southern California in his late teens where his blond, tanned, chiseled good looks (he was sometimes mistaken for handsome actor Guy Madison) landed him modeling work both on runways and in beefcake magazines. It didn't take long for him to be noticed by Hollywood casting agents. At first cast in small he-man roles, usually as a virile guy in uniform, he can be obscurely seen in Jeanne Eagels (1957), his film debut starring Kim Novak, Kronos (1957) with Jeff Morrow, Too Much, Too Soon (1958) starring Dorothy Malone, South Pacific (1958), in which he can be glimpsed as a co-pilot, and Battle Flame (1959) with Scott Brady and a young Robert Blake. While filming another minor role in Master of the World (1961) he met producer James H. Nicholson's daughter, Loretta, and married her within six months. The couple produced three sons.Frustrated at not being able to secure meatier roles in Hollywood, Richard jumped at the chance when offered the lead role in Gladiatore invincibile, Il (1962) [The Invincible Gladiator] which was filming in Europe. He wound up settling in Italy for the next two decades. His first role, of course, immediately typed him as another Steve Reeves type and, to avoid being penned in too much as a mythological muscle man, he sought roles in routine spaghetti westerns and spy intrigue. Once Italy closed down film production after the Herculean craze had died down, he, like others, found himself unemployed. He did manage to scrape up work in Hong Kong, but a large portion of them were bottom-of-the-barrel Ninja movies.Remarried in 1978, Harrison had already begun acting less and less while delving into producing and directing. He has retired fully now except perhaps for an occasional script writing assignment.
Trivia random: Father of Richard Harrison II,
Citazione random: "In my opinion, it is a death wish for an actor to be in too many B or should I say C movies. Maybe my greatest contribution to cinema was not doing Fistful of Dollars, and recommending Clint for the part."
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
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