Grande
Uwe Boll! Con questo
BloodRayne ha dimostrato di saper dirigere non solo ottimi film a basso costo, ma anche grande cinema nel contesto di una
superproduzione!
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Sì superproduzione, e lo si capisce già dal cast:
Kristanna Loken e la sua ex fidanzata
Michelle Rodriguez (vedere alla voce
"lesbiche da film" - ovvero
"diavolo, credevo che quelle vere fossero fatte diverse!" ),
Michael Madsen e pancetta al seguito,
Geraldine Chaplin vecchia babbiona,
Meat Loaf (eh, oh...),
Udo Kier,
Michael Paré e
Billy Zane! E, se vi sembra poco, pure
Gandhi in persona!
Spero siano stati pagati tutti in alcolici di bassa lega, perché mi rifiuto di credere che qualcuno abbia partecipato a tale scempio da sobrio.
Cooomunque... la nostra cara
Terminatrix nel 18esimo secolo faceva la Dampira (mezza-umana, mezza-vampira, tutta-topa) in un freak show. Neanche una brutta vita, una volta che ci si abitua alle coltellate per impressionare il pubblico. Ad ogni modo, scappa ed opportunamente incontra una vecchiarda del servizio informazioni e pettegolezzi, che le comunica che sua madre venne stuprata da
Gandhi (e sì che pareva tanto buonino...), vampiro di quelli cattivi che più cattivi non si può - tanto da stare tutto il tempo nel proprio castello a dare ordini ad un branco di inetti.
Inizia dunque l'immancabile vendetta, alla quale collaboreranno due cacciatori di vampiri membri o-forse-no di una spensierata combriccola di gente dedita a... a... e chi cavolo ci ha capito qualcosa?
Si chiacchiera decisamente troppo, ma l'attesa per i combattimenti viene ampiamente ricompensata: gente immobile e telecamera nel frullatore! Che soluzione innovativa! Imperdibile il duello di spada con Gandhi.
Un'ora e mezza che ha la logica di un nugolo di cavallette: la gente compare a sciami, fa cose e se ne va - non prima di aver devastato i neuroni degli spettatori.
Società segrete pubblicizzate sulla guida Michelin, tesori inesimabili protetti da fenomeni da baraccone e motivazioni deliranti.
Se voleva essere un monumento alla casualità delle circostanze della vita umana è un capolavoro, ma qualcosa mi dice che non sia così...
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Preso in edizione inglese, tra gli extra c'è pure una estenuante cena di quasi 50 minuti con zio Uwe che sproloquia sulla settima arte, che mi sono ben guardato dal visionare.
Forse del sommo maestro sono più affezionato a
Alone in the Dark e
House of the Dead, ma anche questo filmone rientra a pieno titolo nel suo
"best of".
Voto: 1-fa-maaale!
Trashometro
® 8/10:
Tags: Uwe Boll, azione, fantasy, vampiro, Dhampir, mezza-vampira, cacciatore, spada, circo, freak show, fuga, coltello, balestra, duello, assedio, saccheggio, assalto, vendetta, stupro, bambina, morte, madre, tratto da un videogioco, re, società segreta, nudo, arti marziali, splatter, freak, tette sode, b-movie, trash, gore, Romania, sesso.
Boll, Uwe
Data di nascita: 22 June 1965
Altezza: 5' 8" (1.73 m)
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:As a child, he produced a number of short films on Super 8 and video before beginning his studies as a film director in Munich and Vienna. He also studied literature and economics in Cologne and Siegen. Uwe graduated from university in 1995 with a doctorate in literature. From 1995-2000, he was a producer and director with Taunus Film-Produktions GmbH. Boll is currently Chief Executive Officer of Boll Filmproduction and Distribution GmbH which he founded in 1992. In 2000 he founded Boll KG and continues to direct, write and produce feature films.
Trivia random: Planned on making a film based on long running Sega franchise Wonder Boy, with a script by Robin Morningstar. Intentions moved so far along that Caitlin Stasey from Aussie soap Neighbours was attached to a part. When Sega decided to leave the character for all intents and purposes dead, the project collapsed, and was featured as the main news story in issue 51 of Retro Gamer Magazine.
Citazione random: When asked what he learned from his disastrous experience with Alone in the Dark (2005): "That a script matters."
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Madsen, Michael (I)
Nome di battesimo: Madsen, Michael Soren
Data di nascita: 25 September 1958
Altezza: 6' 2" (1.88 m)
Coniuge: DeAnna Madsen::(15 April 1996 - present) 3 children, Georganne LaPiere::(? - ?) (divorced), Jeannine Bisignano::(? - ?) (divorced) 2 children
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:At 6' 2" and 190 pounds, Michael Madsen - the brother of actress Virginia Madsen - is equally adept at portraying heroic as well as villainous characters. There's just something in the way he delivers his lines with an underlying aggression masked behind his gravelly tones that makes you feel very uneasy about his true intentions! Madsen first learned his craft at Chicago's Steppenwolf Theatre, where he worked under John Malkovich, one of the theater's founders. His first few film roles were minor ones, in such projects as Against All Hope (1982), Racing with the Moon (1984) and The Natural (1984). His work received considerable notice, however, after his knife-edged performance as deranged killer Vince Miller in Kill Me Again (1989) and then as Susan Sarandon's rough-edged boyfriend Jimmy in Thelma & Louise (1991). His big breakthrough, however, came as the sadistic jewel thief Mr. Blonde in Quentin Tarantino's low-budget hit Reservoir Dogs (1992). Movie audiences were glued to their seats as Madsen playfully danced around a tied-down and terrified police officer, slicing him with a knife and splashing gasoline all over the petrified man, all to the cheery tunes of "Stealer's Wheels' "Stuck In the Middle With You." Not to be typecast, Madsen surprised many with his performance as foster parent Glen Greenwood in the hit family movie Free Willy (1993) before returning to another criminal role as bank robber Rudy Travis in the remake of the Steve McQueen heist flick The Getaway (1994), and then back again as Glen Greenwood in Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (1995). Madsen continues to turn in edge-of-the-seat performances as morally bankrupt individuals on the wrong side of the law, as in his intense on-screen showings in Donnie Brasco (1997), Mulholland Falls (1996), and High Noon (2000) (TV). In 2003 he teamed up again with Tarantino in both "volumes" of Tarantino's magnum martial arts/revenge opus Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) and Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004) as the coldly evil Budd (aka "Sidewinder"). In addition to his film work, Madsen has contributed dialogue to two of Sony PlayStations's biggest-selling games, Grand Theft Auto III (2001) (VG) and Driv3r (2004) (VG), as well as writing several books of his own poetry. Although uncomfortable with fame, Madsen's star continues to shine in Hollywood and his droll, yet captivating acting style is ensuring him a steady flow of work as one on the screen's favorite "heavies".
Trivia random: He has an older sister named Cheri. She's the owner of a restaurant in Wisconsin.
Citazione random: I'm a leading man trapped inside a bad guy's body.
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
Regista: Uwe Boll Scrittore: Elan Mastai,
Michael Roesch Genere: Action, Comedy, Fantasy, Horror, Action
Valutazione: 2.2/10 (22740 voti)
Durata: USA:96 min
Paese: Canada, Germany, USA
Lingua: English
Cast:Trama:Edward Carnby, detective of the paranormal, unexplained and supernatural, investigates a mystery (the recent death of a friend) with clues leading to "Shadow Island" that brings him face to face with bizarre horrors that prove both psychologically disturbing and lethal, as he discovers that evil demons worshiped by an ancient culture called the Abskani are planning on coming back to life in the 21st century to once again take over the world... and only he and a young genius anthropologist with an incredible memory (and his ex-girlfriend), Aline Cedrac, stand in their way, at a gateway to hell. Standing in Carnby's way, however, is the impact that a brief encounter with an evil spirit called the Queen had upon his mind, as he slowly finds himself overpowered by the forces of darkness as they eat away at his very sanity...
Trivia random: The ending was different in the original script, but Uwe Boll felt it should be ambiguous.
Citazione random: Cmdr. Richard Burke: This doesn't make any sense.
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
House of the Dead (2003)
Regista: Uwe Boll Scrittore: Mark A. Altman,
Dan Bates Genere: Action, Comedy, Action
Valutazione: 2.0/10 (18919 voti)
Durata: 90 min
Paese: Germany, Canada, USA
Lingua: English
Cast:Trama:This film is a prequel to all of the The House of the Dead video games. Set on an island off the coast, a techno rave party attracts a diverse group of college coeds and a Coast Guard officer. Soon, they discover that their X-laced escapades are to be interrupted by zombies and monsters that attack them on the ground, from the air, and in the sea, ruled by an evil entity in the House of the Dead...
Trivia random: SPOILER: At the end, the survivors are rescued by a helicopter. Two men in trench coats get of the helicopter as it lands. This is a reference to the original House of the Dead video game, in which the protagonists are two special agents in trench coats.
Citazione random: Greg: [pointing on a zombie in the water] Shoot it!<br />Capt. Victor Kirk: What do you think I am trying to do, you fucking moron?
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Kier, Udo
Nome di battesimo: Kierspe, Udo
Data di nascita: 14 October 1944
Altezza: 5' 11" (1.80 m)
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Udo Kier was born October 14, 1944 in Cologne, Germany, during World War II. His entrance was just as dramatic as some of his roles. On the evening of his birth Udo's mother requested extra time with her new baby. The nurses had gathered all of the other babies and returned them to the nursery when the hospital was bombed. He and his mother were rescued from underneath the rubble. Udo didn't know much about his father. When Udo was 18 he moved to Britian in order to learn the English language. While there he took a few acting courses. He was eventually offered a role by director Michael Sarne as a gigolo in the film Road to St. Tropez (1966). While the role was small, it was the beginning of his career in films. His first "hit" film was Hexen bis aufs Blut gequält (1970) (Mark of the Devil). The film was rated "V" for violence and ticket buyers were offered vomit bags before the film started. It was banned in 31 countries but spawned two sequels (both without Kier). The film is notorious for its exploitation of sex and violence (the uncut version was remastered and re-released on video in 1997). Kier met director Paul Morrissey on an airplane trip. Morrissey offered him the lead role in the 3-D Flesh for Frankenstein (1973). It was this film, along with its sister film Dracula cerca sangue di vergine... e morì di sete!!! (1974), that made Udo a cult figure. Both Morrissey films are also known as Andy Warhol's Frankenstein and Dracula; however, Andy Warhol was not involved in the production or creation of the films. Both were rated X when released. One of Kier's most vivid memories from "Flesh for Frankenstein" was the infamous "internal organ" scene. Real animal organs were used that were left unrefrigerated on the set for several hours. Udo had to pull the organs out of a prop dummy with his bare hands and hold them up to his face. He has said he will never forget that smell. When this film was finished the cast and crew began immediately filming "Blood for Dracula". Udo remembers both of these films fondly and regards "Dracula" over "Frankenstein" as his favorite of the two (in 1996 both films were released by Criterion on DVD totally uncut). In the 1970s some of Kier's work included The Salzburg Connection (1972), Histoire d'O (1975) (The Story of O), Spermula (1976) and Exposé (1976) (House on Straw Hill). Much of his work has been dubbed with someone else's voice. In Suspiria (1977) there were some technical difficulties with the sound while his scene was shot. In the 1980s some of his work included Lulu (1980), Docteur Jekyll et les femmes (1981) (The Blood of Dr Jekyll), Die Insel der blutigen Plantage (1983) (Escape from Blood Plantation) and Verführung: Die grausame Frau (1985) (Seduction: The Cruel Woman). In the 1980s Kier did very little work outside of Europe. In the 1990s he had a lot more visibility in America and his breakthrough role was as Hans in My Own Private Idaho (1991) (the soundtrack includes the song that Udo performs in the film). Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993) reunited Kier with his friend Keanu Reeves yet again. Udo was cast as Pamela Anderson's sidekick in Barb Wire (1996) and played Ron Camp in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) opposite Jim Carrey. In the 1990s some of the films he was in included "Riget" (1994), For Love or Money (1993), Breaking the Waves (1996), The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996), Blade (1998) and Armageddon (1998/I). Over his 30-year career Udo has worked with several brilliant directors: Paul Morrissey, Charles Matton, Dario Argento, Gus Van Sant and Walerian Borowczyk. he continues to work often with Lars von Trier and is the godfather of Van Trier's child as well as a good friend. Von Trier is currently working on a film entitled Dimension which is a project that spans 30 years. Every year the cast and crew (including Udo) meet to shoot footage. The film will show the actors age 30 years without make-up or special effects. Approximately seen years of footage has already been shot. The premiere will take place in 2024! Kier's acting career ranges from art house films (Europa (1991)) to gore fests (Das deutsche Kettensägen Massaker (1990) (German Chainsaw Massacre)) to television commercials. He says he loves horror films and wants to do more of them. He enjoys playing villains, as he feels it is more interesting because evil has no limits. Currently Udo lives in California and spends much of his time working in Europe, where he receives larger roles and more recognition.
Trivia random: He was the subject of indie band Half Eye's seven-album repertoire: the first letter of the album names spell out his name, U.D.O. K. I. E. R.
Citazione random: "I think to be the devil you have to be angel. Only an angel can play the devil because the devil was a fallen angel."
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Chaplin, Geraldine
Nome di battesimo: Chaplin, Geraldine Leigh
Data di nascita: 31 July 1944
Altezza: 5' 5" (1.65 m)
Coniuge: Patricio Castilla::(18 August 2006 - present) 1 child
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Geraldine Chaplin attended the Royal Ballet Academy in London. She was discovered by David Lean when she was dancing in Paris, which is what led to her role in Doctor Zhivago (1965). She has two children, Shane and Oona.
Trivia random: Sings the duet "Les aimants" written by Chet and composed by Jérôme Rebotier on Chet's album "L'amour à la Française".
Citazione random: [on Doctor Zhivago (1965)] Although I went all over the world promoting it, I'd never got to see more than the credits before being whisked away. Finally, at Cannes, I was to sit through the whole thing. When I appeared for the first time, I fainted from the shock - and woke up in the ladies room.
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Meat Loaf
Nome di battesimo: Aday, Marvin Lee
Data di nascita: 27 September 1947
Altezza: 5' 10½" (1.79 m)
Coniuge: Leslie G. Edmonds::(23 February 1979 - 2001) (divorced) 2 children
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Meat Loaf was born in Texas, and moved to Los Angeles in 1967 to play in local bands and appear in musicals such as "Hair" and "As You Like It". He made his film debut with a memorable role in cult film The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). In 1977, he and lyricist Jim Steinman released an operatic rock album called "Bat Out Of Hell", the record was huge and has sold 35,000,000 copies worldwide. However, the tour promoting the album took a toll on Meat's voice and left him unable to sing on the follow-up record "Bad For Good". Meat Loaf stayed in the dark through the eighties doing 4 records which never got any airplay or chart position in the US. Meat Loaf appeared in films Out of Bounds (1986) as a Pilot, and The Squeeze (1987) with Michael Keaton. But after getting back together with Steinman, they delivered a powerful sequel "Bat Out Of Hell II" which went to #1 in the US and UK. Bat II has now sold an excess of 20,000,000 copies. His TV credits include the Soldier being held prisoner in Vietnam in "Lightning Force" (1991), a mad Doctor who invents a serum to keep zombies from deteriorating in "Monsters" (1988) and a slick Landlord of a restaurant who ends up on the menu in HBO series "Tales from the Crypt" (1989). Meat Loaf has also appeared in Crazy in Alabama (1999) and Fight Club (1999).
Trivia random: Got his start in show business in a traveling stage production of the infamous play, "Hair".
Citazione random: [when asked in 2003 interview whether he was born in 1947 or 1951] "1951. I have it on my passport and driving licence. [I said 1947 in my autobiography] because I just wanted to maintain a constant lie. I was born in 1951 but see what a great thing it is, because everybody asks me? And I can keep it up - I can tell you I was born in 1952. Names and ages piss me off. So I just continually lie."
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
BloodRayne (2005)
BloodRayne
Regista: Uwe Boll Scrittore: Guinevere Turner Genere: Action, Comedy, Fantasy, Action
Valutazione: 2.6/10 (17783 voti)
Durata: 95 min
Paese: USA, Germany
Lingua: English
Cast:Trama:In the Eighteenth Century, Rayne is the half-human half-vampire Dhampir and the lead attraction in a carnival's freak-show in Romania. When she escapes, she meets a fortuneteller that tells that her mother was raped by the king of the vampires Kagan and she decides to destroy her father. In her journey for revenge, she meets Vladimir and Sebastian, the leaders of the fortress of vampire hunters Brimstone, and she joins their society. She seeks for powerful talismans to defeat Kagan, while the skilled warriors Vladimir and Sebastian train her to face the forces of Kagan and her human side falls in love with Sebastian.
Trivia random: The half-naked prostitutes in the scene with Leonid (Meat Loaf) are actually real Romanian prostitutes. According to director Uwe Boll (at the Stockholm International Film Festival) it was cheaper to hire real prostitutes than actresses.
Citazione random: Elrich: Would you stop throwing things at me?
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Zane, Billy
Nome di battesimo: Jr., William George Zane
Data di nascita: 24 February 1966
Altezza: 6' (1.83 m)
Coniuge: Lisa Collins::(1988 - 1995) (divorced)
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:William George Zane Jr., better known as Billy Zane, was born on February 24, 1966, in Chicago, Illinois, USA to parents William George Zane Sr. and Thalia Zane. Both of his parents ran a medical technical school. Billy also has a sister named Lisa Zane, an actress born in 1961. Billy was bitten by the acting bug early on. In his early teens, he attended Harand Camp of the Theater Arts in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin. In 1982, he attended the American School in Switzerland. His high school days were spent at Francis Parker High School in Chicago, Illinois. Daryl Hannah and Jennifer Bealsalso attended Parker, prior to Billy's attendance. Soon after graduating high school, Billy decided to venture out to California to try his hand at acting. Within three weeks, he won his very first big screen role in Back to the Future (1985), playing the part of Match, one of Biff's thugs. He would later reprise that role for the sequel. Then after a small role in the film Critters (1986), he landed starring roles in several television movies. In 1989, Billy filmed Dead Calm (1989). It was on the set of this movie that he met his future wife, Lisa Collins. They were married from 1988-1995. In 1996, Billy starred in The Phantom (1996) and in 1997 as Cal Hockley in the billion dollar grossing Titanic (1997). Then in 1999, he starred in the television movie Cleopatra (1999) (TV) where he met his soon-to-be fiance, actress Leonor Varela from whom he subsequently split.
Trivia random: Is of Greek descent. Original family name is Tzanetakos.
Citazione random: "I'm enjoying 40. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care." on being asked what's the best age to be is
Salario massimo: $2,000,000, per Cleopatra (1999) (TV)
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Rodriguez, Michelle (I)
Nome di battesimo: Rodriguez, Mayte Michelle
Data di nascita: 12 July 1978
Altezza: 5' 5" (1.65 m)
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Known for tough-chick roles, Michelle Rodriguez is proof that there is a cross between beauty and brawn. Born in Bexar County, Texas on July 12, 1978, Michelle always knew she was destined to become a star, she just didn't know how to get there. Michelle lived in Texas until the age of 8 when her family moved to the Dominican Republic where she lived for two years before moving to Puerto Rico. At 11, Michelle's family relocated for the last time to Jersey City, New Jersey. Although she has been working since 1999 as an extra in such films as Summer of Sam (1999) and Cradle Will Rock (1999), it only took a magazine ad announcing an open casting call in New York for Michelle to decide to finally step into the spotlight. The role was the female lead, the movie was Girlfight (2000). Despite the lack of experience in film and boxing, Michelle auditioned, along with another 350 girls. After various trials inside an actual boxing ring and five arduous months of training in Brooklyn's Gleason's Gym, she was finally chosen to portray the role of Diana Guzman. As soon as the independent film began making the rounds at various film festivals, Michelle began gaining critical acclaim for her performance earning her awards like the Deaxville Festival of American Cinema award for Best Actress and the Las Vegas Film Critics Society for Female Breakthrough Performance. As Girlfight (2000) continued to gain notoriety with its September 2000 release, Michelle was already hard at work with films like 3 A.M. (2001), the blockbuster hit The Fast and the Furious (2001), and Resident Evil (2002). With Hollywood calling her name, the future for this feisty Jersey girl is as strong as the punches she throws.
Trivia random: She beat out 350 other girls for the role of Diana Guzman in Girlfight (2000).
Citazione random: [on why she always plays the "tough girl"]: Well, could you really imagine me playing the girlfriend that needs rescuing? Or the girlfriend?
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Paré, Michael
Nome di battesimo: Pare, Michael Kevin
Data di nascita: 9 October 1958
Altezza: 6' 1" (1.85 m)
Coniuge: Marjolein Booy::(21 March 1992 - present) 1 child, Marisa Roebuck::(1986 - 1988) (divorced), Lisa Katselas Paré::(1980 - 1982) (divorced)
Ultimi lavori: Trivia random: Was on the wrestling team in high school.
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Loken, Kristanna
Nome di battesimo: Løken, Kristanna Sommer
Data di nascita: 8 October 1979
Altezza: 5' 11" (1.80 m)
Coniuge: Noah Danby::(10 May 2008 - present)
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Kristanna Loken began her modeling career at the early age of 15. Encouraged by her mother, Rande who was a model prior to her daughter's birth, Kristanna's modeling career, as well as her aspirations in acting brought her to New York where she now resides. The glamorous actress/ model, seems to have stayed true to her roots: her father, Chris, owns an apple farm in upstate New York where he writes novels and screenplays. Aside from establishing herself as a supermodel with an Elite contract, Kristanna has made numerous television appearances as well as what could be her breakthrough film role in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger, released in 2003.
Trivia random: Was #3 on Maxim Magazine's Hot 100 List (June 2003)
Citazione random: "In the back of my mind I kept thinking, I'm fighting Arnold and I've got to be naked in front of the world. So that was enough incentive. I would work, like, 20 hours and work out constantly in my gym and my trailer because of the 'birthing' scene, as I call it."
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Kingsley, Ben
Nome di battesimo: Bhanji, Krishna
Data di nascita: 31 December 1943
Altezza: 5' 8" (1.73 m)
Coniuge: Daniela Lavender::(3 September 2007 - present), Alexandra Christmann::(3 October 2003 - 8 February 2005) (divorced), Alison Sutcliffe::(1 July 1978 - 1 February 1992) (divorced) 2 children, Angela Morant::(1966 - 1972) (divorced) 2 children
Ultimi lavori: Trivia random: Ben Kingsley's paternal family was from the Indian state of Gujarat, the same state Mahatma Gandhi was from.
Citazione random: "Being a leading man on a film set under the direction of somebody like Dickie Attenborough [Richard Attenborough, director of Gandhi (1982)] is very empowering, and you have to be extremely careful how you use that power."
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb. 
- riesce a farsi amiche le tre Heather che spadroneggiano la scuola: belle, temute ed alla moda, le quattro riescono a dettare legge nel liceo che frequentano.
(ne uscirete come Pac-Man: gialli, inseguiti da fantasmi e bisognosi di pillole)