Errare è umano, perseverare è diabolico. E poi c'è quel ripetuto, fastidioso ed ossessivo desiderio di insistere a battere un ferro già freddo da decenni che è un po' il marchio di fabbrica di
Tobe Hooper. E questa è una cosa dal quale lo stesso diavolo si guarda bene.
Si fa davvero fatica a credere che nel 2006 si facciano ancora film con
Il Custode (
Mortuary).
Mamma, figliolo adolescente e bimbetta si trasferiscono in una fetida catepecchia con annessa camera mortuaria e vista sul cimitero.
Ahiloro in una delle cripte trova alloggio il figlio deforme dei precedenti inquilini, il cui unico sollazzo consiste nell'andare in giro vestito di stracci a spaventare la gente e, di tanto in tanto, rapirla onde sacrificarla al mostro-blob/mega-ameba-dentata che vive nel sottosuolo. Detto mostro, annusa l'odore di sangue e liquami vari che colano dai tavoli mortuari e tramite le tubature (miii, che cosa origgginale!
) si fa strada fino ai cadaveri che fa rivivere in allegri zombie da compagnia. Zombie scarsamente educati, dato che vomitano melma nera in bocca ai viventi, contaminandoli.
Se qualcuno avesse dei dubbi, quando tutto sembra perduto arriva la solita casuale scoperta dell'Improbabile Sostanza Che Vaporizza Gli Zombi Ed I Mostri Del Sottosuolo
® (presto disponibile nei migliori negozi di prodotti per la casa).
Dolorosissimo. Non so come altro definirlo.
Da segnalare anche le fastidiose musiche e gli effetti speciali che sarebbero stati considerati laidi già negli anni '70.
Ringraziamo lo zio
Tobe per non aver neanche lontanamente azzeccato un film dai tempi di
Poltergeist e lo supplichiamo di continuare così!
Voto: 1.
Trashometro
® 10/10:
(questo farà male)
Tags: horror, cimitero, cripta, mostro, melma, zombie, trash, Tobe Hooper, cagata pazzesca.
Hooper, Tobe
Data di nascita: 25 January 1943
Ultimi lavori: Biografia:Honored with many awards for his films and achievement in the horror genre, Tobe Hooper is truly one of the "Masters of Horror" (2005). Before becoming a filmmaker, Hooper--a native of Austin, Texas--spent the 1960s as a college teacher and documentary cameraman. He organized a small cast of teachers and students and made The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974). It changed the horror film industry and became an instant classic. Even today it remains on virtually every list of top horror films of all time. Hooper based it upon the real-life case of Ed Gein, a cannibalistic killer responsible for the grisly murders of several people in the 1950s (although in Wisconsin, not Texas). Hooper's success with "Chainsaw" landed him in Hollywood. Rex Reed said, "It's the scariest film I have ever seen." Leonard Maltin wrote, "While not nearly as gory as its title suggests, Massacre is a genuinely terrifying film made even more unsettling by its twisted but undeniably hilarious black comedy." It is in the Permanent Collection of the Museum of Modern Art, and was officially selected at the Cannes Film Festival of 1975 for Directors Fortnight.Hooper rejoined the cast of "Chainsaw" for Eaten Alive (1977), which starred Mel Ferrer, William Finley, Carolyn Jones, and Marilyn Burns. The film received the first Saturn Award. Also in the film, making his debut, was Robert Englund. Hooper's success continued with his adaption of Stephen King's 1979 mini series Salem's Lot (1979) (TV). In 1981 Hooper directed The Funhouse (1981) for Universal Pictures. Then, in 1982, Steven Spielberg enlisted him to direct the successful haunted-house shocker Poltergeist (1982) for MGM. During the mid-'80s Hooper directed several films and television projects, including Lifeforce (1985) with Patrick Stewart for TriStar; episodes of "Amazing Stories" (1985), "The Equalizer" (1985), "Freddy's Nightmares" (1988) and "Tales from the Crypt" (1989) with Whoopi Goldberg; Invaders from Mars (1986), and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) with Dennis Hopper.In the 1990s Hooper continued working in both both film and television: I'm Dangerous Tonight (1990) (TV), "Nowhere Man" (1995), "Dark Skies" (1996), "Perversions of Science" (1997) with Jamie Kennedy and Jason Lee, The Apartment Complex (1999) (TV) with Amanda Plummer for Showtime, Night Terrors (1993), and The Mangler (1995) for New Line.In the new century Hooper's career continued to grow stronger with "Night Visions" (2001), Shadow Realm (2002) (TV), and the pilot episode for Steven Spielberg's award-winning miniseries "Taken" (2002/I) (mini). In 2004 Hooper co-produced the successful remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) for New Line. In 2005 he started his own low-budget horror franchise, TH Nightmare; has Toolbox Murders (2004) with Angela Bettis, released through Lions Gate; is in post-production on Mortuary (2005/I); is in pre-production on "Zombies"; and will produce and direct "Ghosts" (2006) (mini), a mini-series for A
Trivia random: He directed the music video "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol.
Citazione random: [on horror] "You've got to send a physical sensation through and not let them off the hook. I like to make it faster and faster and faster and pumping and banging until I get into you."
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Mortuary (2005/I)
Regista: Tobe Hooper Scrittore: Jace Anderson,
Adam Gierasch Genere: Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Valutazione: 4.2/10 (459 voti)
Durata: 94 min
Paese: USA
Lingua: English
Cast:Trama:The Doyle family moves to rural California to start a new life; perhaps a strange choice because their new life takes on the form of running the long abandoned Fowler Brothers Funeral Home. The locals fear the place, and there are whispers around town that the land the home lies on is haunted. The Doyle family will soon discover that something lurks beneath the soil-something that raises rotten corpses from their long forgotten graves and feeds on death itself.
Trivia random: The quote carved on the vault's door "That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die." is from HP Lovecraft's short story The Call of Cthulhu.
Citazione random: Jonathan Doyle: A 26 hour car trip just went by.::Leslie Doyle: He speaks! What is that, 6 hours, a record for you?
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.
Poltergeist (1982)
Poltergeist: demoniache presenze
Regista: Tobe Hooper Scrittore: Steven Spielberg,
Steven Spielberg Genere: Horror, Thriller
Valutazione: 7.4/10 (14632 voti)
Durata: 114 min
Paese: USA
Lingua: English
Cast:Trama:A young family are visited by ghosts in their home. At first the ghosts appear friendly, moving objects around the house to the amusement of everyone, then they turn nasty and start to terrorise the family before they "kidnap" the youngest daughter.
Trivia random: Movie on the TV in an early bedroom scene is A Guy Named Joe (1943), a film about a pilot who returns to the world as a ghost. It was later remade by Steven Spielberg into Always (1989).
Citazione random: Diane: We were wondering if you had experienced any... disturbances?::Ben Tuthill: What kind of disturbances?::Diane: Oh, you know... dishes or furniture, moving around by themselves.
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb. 
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